AN ACTOR PREPARES

Why, oh why, oh why do I keep getting into these situations?  It certainly isn't for love of the work. That stopped being glamourous and became just plain dangerous some time ago. An I really am not that patriotic - or only in that whiny, 'I couldn't get away with being who I am anywhere else on the planet kind of a way.

Let's examine the facts, dear readers.
I am poorly paid for what I do.
I am at the sharp end of my profession.
Others are well remunerated.
They sit behind a desk.

Now I know this is often the case. Be it as an actor (the creative driving force within culture, the people who get things done whilst producers pick our pockets) or as a spy (out there getting shot at or threatened with death in other, more creative ways, whilst OTHER  PEOPLE (you know who you are) sit at their desks telling us what to do and then deny all knowledge of our existence when it comes down to it) I find it doubly hard to take.

They will tell you that this is because, as you move up the scale in terms of your wage packet, you will have to take more responsibility and therefore the buck stops with you. If something goes wrong, it is your head on the block.

I have only one word to say to that. BANKERS.

I don't think that if I screw up (and believe me I often do) that I should be paid four years wages in compensation and then given the same job somewhere else. Well, actually I do, but I am realistic enough to know that it will never happen.

I am writing this as I am trapped inside a prison with several score of very dangerous prisoners and a group of very dangerous terrorists, whilst the people who pay me a derisory wage are undoubtedly  watching events unfold on a screen somewhere, chuckling gently to themselves whilst stroking a white Persian cat and hovering their finger over the button of mutually assured destruction.

I hate running drama workshops. Especially in prisons. I am supposed to be teaching a class on 'Conflict Management Through the Dramatic Arts' but one of my students got miffed when I told him his interpretation of Ray Cooney was a bit wooden and seems to have broken my nose. It does little for ones respect among the other members of the class. I may well have to record them doing some contemporary dancing this afternoon and then post it on YouTube.